I am first going to begin with a funny true story and then end with a rant about people too young to get married. Please don't be offended by either topic. This is just Life; it's all fun and games.
Imagine this, a high school girl completely in love with her significant other, back in the early 70s, down in Mississippi, sunbathing on a dock with one foot dangling in the water, and her sweetie swimming around gazing at her on a warm summer's day. Then.. the unspeakable happens and the girl is inside the house screaming, freaking out, crying, running towards her room yelling to her mother "THAT PERVERT!!! I NEVER WANT TO SEE HIM AGAIN!!! I CAN'T BELIEVE HIM!!! DON'T LET HIM IN THE HOUSE!!!!!!" Her mother completely baffled; this boy had never laid a hand on her daughter, and hadn't even kissed her to the mother's knowledge. He would always come over to the house and help out, even went to Sunday School with their family. What could he have done? All the mother can get out of her daughter is THAT PERVERT!! So, she tries getting something out of the poor boy that has an awful stuttering problem, when he gets nervous or upset. "I, I, I, didn'tttt, ma-ma-mean to da-da-doooo ittt. I, I, couldn't hahahelp ma-ma-myselfff." Obviously, at this rate the mother knew it would hours before she would find anything out, is quite perplexed. Seeing this boy in a complete state of horror, she goes back to the beginning, with her daughter locked in her room, to try and make any sense out of this. The daughter is obviously furious, denouncing any love she ever had for the boy previous, and swears that she will never talk to him again. After quite some time the climax comes out and the daughter yells, "I had my foot out in the water, and you know what he DID??!!! I canNOT believe he did this!! He is a PERVERT!!! HE SUCKED MY TOE!!!!!!!!!! He's a TOE SUCKER!!!!" At this point, the mother is desperately trying not to giggle at the thought of the ridiculousness of it all, she consoles the daughter as best she can without dropping a hint of her tickledness and goes out to talk with the boy to get his side of the story. She tells him that she has no idea what provoked him to suck her daughter's filthy, dirty toe and that he had some explaining to do. With tears running down his face, he says,"I, I, I couldn't hahahelp myself, she jajajust means th-the world to me. She looked mamamighty beautiful up on that dock, and well, I, I, I, I couldn't take it no longer. I can't stand it, I wawawaanted to TASTE HER!!!" "But darlin, why her nasty toe," "It dadadon't matter what part of her, sh-sh-she's perfect, I c-c-caan't stand it. I had to KNOW!"
And so be the story of the toe sucker, now off to ranting. People, children, I should say, why in the world are you getting married right out of high school?? at nineteen, twenty, years old? At first, it was freaking me out in Utah, but in my own small town in Tennessee?? No sir. We don't have that type of culture where we marry off young because it is socially, regionally, and culturally conditioned. You have no job, you have no house, you have no car, you have no insurance, you are still living off your parents, where are the benefits?? You think being together forever after only being in a relationship for eight, six, two months, heck even four years if it consists between the ages of 16-20, is going to last? going to matter? going to shape the ENTIRE REST OF YOUR LIFE? People, live a little. Don't get me wrong, I think it is absolutely delightful that you are in so in love, so infatuated, so head over heels for another, but why sign your whole existence away in a pile filled of joint bills, no privacy, and mooching off in-laws? You haven't even lived together for a whole week? Do you realize the significance behind "til death do us part"? I just really don't understand the functionality behind this because we don't live in the day and age where you already have a steady income at the age of 18 by working in a factory or on a farm, there is no need to procreate in our overpopulated world so that there will be enough work done to have food on the table, and we most certainly do NOT live in the age of banishment because of fornication before marriage. So why? I know they have said they have thought about it, that there is no other way, that you want to seal the deal because you want to vow your everlasting love. Well that's all good in the fairytales like the Swan Princess, but if you really love that person, and they really love you, do you really think a legal economically binding piece of paper is the only way to show it? If you really love them, won't you always be with them no matter what, and wouldn't it be smarter to hold off a couple years, go to college, don't get pregnant, and set up a somewhat stable future? I mean I am all for adventure and living on the edge, but that's too much for me. So again, people live a little. You can still live it with the one you love, just don't do something so drastic as tying the strongest sailor square knot you possibly can. Waiting longer, also helps build and form something so unbelievably beautiful, and you won't have to live with the regrets of rushing at the speed of light. Also, don't go and suck people's toes. That's just weird.
Storytelling and ranting brought to you by a concerned, freaked out friend.
Yours truly,
Clara Jane
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