my mind while reading.

I've started a new goal for this summer and life in general, and that is simply to read more. I have just finished my third book, and I just want to express how remarkably fascinating the action of reading is. Here is "my mind while reading." Enjoy!

When I read a new book I open the cover, pass through title page and copyrights, find the start. The start is one of the most important things to me, and you have to hit it racing, chasing ideas through your head, at every period you are never stopping, and strain your eyes so that you never blinking. The first page is always read the fastest. You are golden if you get through the first page and read it only once. The first page is always read last, even after the end to remember what happened for you, to begin this magical journey through something, one simply calls a novel. The best part about a novel is that it lasts. Some people never read the ending to their favorite book because they never want the thrill, the emotion, the tension, the commotion, the overall excitement it evokes to be finished, be done, be over, to end. You go through the pages and chapters and fall in love with the characters, the people you want to have in real life, the happiness they feel, or even the suffering they endure because you just, want, to feel, something, anything. They have something you don't, and miraculously you get to discover and empathize their thoughts. In some books you know everything, and others you know nothing, but always after reading a book you get to hold that masterpiece in your hand and keep the memories, the journey, the experience in a couple hundred small but physical pieces of paper that became part of your soul for what seem like a brief, but everlasting moment. So many different thoughts go through my head when reading a piece of literature, and more times then not, I get sucked into the atmosphere of the fictional world and become enwrapped, enthralled, engaged with what all is going on, until.. Until someone comes in the room, until someone says my name, until it's too dark now to read without a light, until I suddenly realize I have been reading for hours, drinking from a ice cold turned room temperature glass of water, and really need a potty break. But I love those instances when you actually become the words on the page, it's a different world, life, beginning, middle, and end, that you are apart of. And when I reach the end, there has not been a time where I have sat directly where I was sitting before feeling emotionless and like oh that's cool. Nay sir, I have to get up, I just finished a book! Regardless the outcome of the story, I go into a room anywhere to be by myself except for the place I was just reading and just stand, pace, or sit pondering for a quick moment, smile, and then go back to the last page and read the last paragraph just to be sure I finished. Life has its moments where it surprises you, saddens you, escapes you, lifts you, hurts you, and loves you. So without further adieu, pick up a book and live it all without leaving your chair, bed, floor, wherever you choose to hear your favorite author. Simple word of advice: READ! -Clara Jane

So I'm not sure what to write about, so I'm just going to write

I am reading this awesome book You Shall Know Our Velocity by one of my favorite authors Dave Eggers, and just read a significant plot twist. There is a second first narrator that tells you everything that has been written so far basically is a lie. The first first narration had the whole concept correct, but all his details had gone astray and has you wondering which parts of the 300 pages have you read so far were real-I mean as real as fiction can get. Anyways, as humans it is natural to tell stories, the truth sparkled and shined or tarnished and broken, either way it is to bring out emotions in others. What emotion do you want to portray when telling your life's story? What do you want to be your reality whether it is a separation of the facts or not? I don't think it's a question of if your life is good enough for someone to read or listen to know how to make up your story, but it's a question of the parallels between how you want to live and have lived your life thus far. What was real to you? But some will say, that's a lie, you've never base jumped off the Grand Canyon or hooked up with the lead singer of a famous band. You just were born in Tennessee and went to Utah for college. However, in the nothing more, nothing less debate it is important to remember what you remembered, such as taking care of an elderly woman who says back in the day she had to register her hands as lethal weapons and when you are cleaning the house you aren't surprised when you find a gun on the tallest shelf you know she can't reach. What it all comes down to is who cares? And why do we have to have other people to care if our lives are significant or not? It's because we crave connection, we crave the world, we crave each other. In a world full of people, we want some type of approval from the ones who we know to live around us. Even in today's individualistic society, where everyone is so disconnected but connected at the same time through the news, MTV, and social networking, it is becoming more and more apparent that we have to have other people to tell us that we are awesome. And if we aren't told these things we live miserable lives and hate breathing. Well, you know what, all you suckers who have given in to society, you are awesome. And you shouldn't even give a fuck I told you that because you are fucking awesome. True story.

-Clara Jane

I guess the last thing I will say on this subject is that whatever you take away from this book, his text and mine-and I have no idea what you are taking away-please take away this one thing about the trip:

It happened, and it was good. It was good because it happened.

Long day.

So yesterday was the first day of summer, but not as cheerful as it should be. First of all it rained, all day long. Second, I love the great outdoors but could not take advantage of the free National Park day because I am in Tennessee, not Utah. And thirdly, also which coincidentally the third time this month I have gone to the apple store in hopes of saving my life and soul, my macbook pro. After spending hours upon hours it was finally resolved yesterday that I need a new hard drive.What a bummer, my whole first paycheck of the summer. Summer saving for college is going great, well not really. Anyways I have to wait yet another couple of days to use my pride and joy because I need to migrate the old stuff to the new stuff, but I don't have the part, yet. Needless to say, it was a long day. However! Life is more than bummers and not working computers, it's about living. Sometimes all you need is a book, a call, a friend, or nothing at all. Sleep was my cure for the long day I endured. So when all else fails, take a nap.
Words of advice brought to you by Clara Jane free of charge.

Sex. Do it for the babies.

Seriously people, control what's in your pants.

So this is going to be a random rant that is very opinionated and might seem utterly absurd but please tune in and listen for a moment. a second. a minute. Wait a minute, I just finished my first ever year in college. That's big, what's even bigger is the number of people in my freshman hall that had sex. There were about eighty people total who lived in my resident hall for about eight months, and out of eighty there was whopping grand total of about three that did not do it. I was one of them. First off, I'm not a crazy psycho writing off the evils of the world because for one, sex is not evil, it's very natural actually. And secondly, I'm not just someone ranting because I "can't get me some." That being said, people, seriously sex is not something for eighteen and nineteen year olds, it's for babies. Because when you are eighteen and nineteen years old it's dangerous, sloppy, and not worth it. The majority who fornicated this year said to me they regretted it. Let's face it no matter which way they slide the rubber, these kids, my peers, don't know what they're doing. People, it's a disgrace. When you are that young you get careless, things go where they shouldn't, people lie because they're embarrassed leading to the spread of diseases and ignorance, and most of all babies. Babies, people, babies. Out of these careless ignorant sex hooligans there were abortions, previous adoptions, and hearts broken over one night notions that occurred this very year, our freshman year of college. Is there something wrong with that picture? I do believe so. Therefore, people think before you sink into the abyss of unknown and end up changing your life just because you had feelings for someone, or was just being a horndog that night. I'm not going to tell this sappy story of why everyone should wait or that you should make your night magical and beautiful and be in love with the person you have sex with, which would be a nice thought, all I am going to say is there are so many other things you can do instead of sex your freshman year of college.

For example, this year I went skiing down double black diamonds in the back country of Brighton, rock climbing off of 400 foot cliffs in the UintaMountains, I made friends!! and did fun stuff with them, went to a million awesome movies, worked on some college work a little, watched the whole Firefly and Battlestar Galactica series with some buds while they threw back a couple of cold ones, went to concerts, and even got myself a boyfriend that I got to do a lot of fun stuff with like going to Moab, hike Arches, see the Jeep Safari, played board games, watched movies, wrote letters for the heck of it, and did lots of fun things behind locked doors other than sex. So people, get a hold of yourself and your loins. Open your eyes, there is so much more to life and stop trying to grow up so too doggoned fast!

Yours truly,

Clara Jane